challenging conversationstop ten tips

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If you say ‘I’ve got a difficult meeting coming up this afternoon’ then by describing it a ‘difficult’ you are creating the expectation that it will be…making it more likely that it will be.  Just say ‘I’ve got a meeting this afternoon’.  By all means prepare well for it, but avoid making it ‘difficult’ in your head before it actually deserves that title…

However the other person or group behave, your own behaviour – your response – is up to you.  Your responsibility is your response-ability: to respond professionally and positively, whatever the others are doing.

If Harry is smoking in a non-designated area, then the issue is the smoking – not Harry.  This makes it possible to value Harry, while addressing the issue.  People are much more capable of changing the way they behave than changing their identity – so avoid making the issue personal.  All that will do is make the individual defensive and even aggressive..

Start at the back: what do you want the meeting to achieve?  And work back from there.  It’s difficult to provide focus in a meeting if you don’t know where you’re heading.  And remember, if you’ve called the meeting, and planned for it, you may be very clear about the outcomes you desire – but does the other person…?

You are more likely to be successful in any meeting if you can create positive rapport with the other person.  This can include matching them in a number of ways (without mimicking them!) – for example:

  • body language
  • tone
  • pace
  • acknowledgement of their point of view
  • building on their ideas

The best way to do this is to ask (non-threatening) questions, seeking their opinion.  If I ask you now “what is the colour of your front door?” it’s almost impossible for you not to answer it – even if only in your head.  So you are engaged, and thinking about something I want you to think about…So ask questions, invite comments, seek their opinion…

When people are interested, time goes quickly; when they are nervous, anxious or bored, it drags.  So you and the other person might see the same ‘time’ differently….Also, if you are introducing new ideas, that the other person may not have thought about, then give them time to do that.  It might be better to have 2 15-minute meetings – one to raise, one to discuss (with reflection time in between) than have one 30-minute meeting which tries to do it all in the one sitting…

These are my top 5@

  • positive body language
  • asking positive questions
  • active listening
  • recap
  • acknowledge and build

In any challenging meeting, either part could be, or become, emotional.  If that happens, remember these two key points:

  • emotion hijacks reason
  • you cannot reason with someone who is emotional

So the quickest way to get someone to move from emotion  back to reason is to let them vent, let off steam – so long as it is safe and private…

What that is, of course, is up to you – or the both of you.  But is might typically follow this SCOPE structure:

S: symptom – what’s the evidence there is a problem or issue?

C: cause:  what are the reasons for the issue?

O: options: what are the options to resolve the issue or move it forward?

P: preference:  what does each person prefer from the options considered (try and get consensus where possible)

E: execute:  put that preference into action

 

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payment options

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How To Check Availability

Simply start the booking process and select the service which you are interested in. This will show you a calendar with available dates.
You are not required to pay at the point of booking, so if you would like to reserve a workshop date, please feel free to book and pay by invoice later.

Booking Multiple Sessions

You can schedule multiple bookings of a single type (e.g. multiple coaching sessions), however to schedule a different type of booking, please repeat the scheduling process.

Payment Options

You have two payment options when booking. You can choose to pay by card at the point of booking, or to pay later by invoice (BACS).

(All prices shown during booking include VAT at 20%)

We know it’s a faff
And a bit of a pain;
But it really helps us
Stay on top of our game…

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