Imagine you were in a challenging conversation, and facing these challenging behaviours: personal, indifferent, sarcastic, aggressive, belittling, abusive, intimidating.  And suppose in response to those behaviours you were behaving in the following ways: weak, nervous, distracted, upset, confused, scared, low self control.  And suppose that the behaviours you were getting from the other person were just the same, but instead this time this is how you behaved: strong, skilled, comfortable, doing your best, positive, confident, high self control.  And now consider this: imagine you had a choice of these two types of behaviour: the ones on the left, or the ones on the right. Which list do you think would equip you best for dealing with the challenging conversation? If as I suspect you choose the list on the right, then here’s the key point: you own the behaviours on either list.  They’re all your behaviours – they’re down to you.  Simply, the choice is yours.